


You Always Believed.

by Mischeiefedmarauders



Category: Dir en grey
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-10 15:17:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18663016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mischeiefedmarauders/pseuds/Mischeiefedmarauders
Summary: On the day of Die's wedding he can’t help but reflect on everything him and Kyo had gone through.





	You Always Believed.

**Author's Note:**

> Alright! Are you guys ready for an adorably fluffly one shot?! Based off the song You Always Believed by In This Moment. 
> 
> Trigger warning for mentions of eating disorders, suicidal thoughts, and mental health issues. 
> 
> Also, I took some liberties on some of the things in the past, I tried to use interviews I’ve seen for reference, but most of it is me inferring a lot of things, just an fyi.

Die sat in front of a vanity, dressed in a pair of white dress pants and a white dress shirt, unbuttoned, and a red tie, untied hung around his neck. His suit jacket and waistcoat are hanging on a hook across the room meant for a wedding dress, for some reason Toshiya insisted that he take that room instead of the other across the hall where Kyo was getting ready with Shinya. They still had a bit of time before the actual ceremony but Die had wanted to get somewhat ready, just in case something happened with his hair or makeup. Toshiya had stepped out to get Die some breakfast and coffee though he knew he wouldn’t be able to eat or drink anything until after the ceremony. His stomach was in knots as he thought on what he was about to do. He was excited of course, overly excited and he wanted to get to the best part but with Kyo wanting something traditional they both had to go through choosing a venue, choosing a cake, choosing the food, decide who they want to be at the wedding and how they wanted it decorated. Thankfully Karou stepped up and helped with 90 percent of everything which they were both eternally grateful for. Seeing as Die had started his day early and was almost done with what needed to be done he had time to think. His mind went first to when Kyo actually proposed, which he was definitely surprised about, especially after what had happened with the first person he tried to marry, but being together for fifteen years, Kyo figured it was better late than never. Kyo had asked to take Die out randomly after practice, which was weird because Kyo liked planning things out in advance on certain things but Die agreed, definitely needing to get a drink or two after the practice they had. It seemed nothing was going right, not until the last hour. 

Die made sure all of his equipment was put away before meeting Kyo in the lobby.   
“So, where to?” Die asked as he threw an arm around Kyo’s shoulders.   
“The lantern festival is tonight, kinda wanted to check it out, haven’t been in a while” he said and Die nodded, completely forgetting what time of year it was, only really thinking about the band and what he was going to do for Kyo’s birthday, which in his opinion was a success. He hadn’t been to the festival in a long while as well. He smiled and started them toward the door.   
“Let’s do this then! I could use some festival food” he said and Kyo nodded. It was still light out so they had a bit of time to enjoy all of the things that went along with the festival before actually attending the lighting ceremony. Die should have known something big was coming, Kyo had been acting a bit strange the whole time, though looking at him you wouldn’t know it, but Die knew Kyo inside and out and he was definitely acting strange, even if he was doing a good job at hiding it.   
They first went to get food and drinks, both of them not really getting anything before practice, Die didn’t like to feel bogged down and Kyo didn’t want to accidently hurt his voice by eating something so they usually waited until after practice to get dinner. They made small talk between bites, enjoying the festival. Once they were done they decided to do some walking around, thankful that only a couple people stopped them to ask for autographs and pictures. It seemed that everyone was actually giving them their space. When it came to the lighting ceremony they both grabbed their lanterns and lit them before giving the signal to let them go. Die watched his go up, until he saw movement from Kyo out of the corner of his eye. He turned and saw Kyo down on one knee, holding out a ring box. Die’s jaw dropped and he started to look around, but it seemed everyone was too busy watching their lanterns. When he turned back to Kyo he saw some sort of doubt in his eyes. Die dropped down to his knees then and hugged him.   
“Your serious?” asked Die as he felt a couple tears fall down his cheek. He felt Kyo nod as Kyo’s arms went around him as well. 

Die was brought back to the present by Toshiya coming in with his food and coffee.   
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost” said Toshiya and Die laughed and shook his head.   
“Just reminiscing” he said as he grabbed for the coffee and took a drink, surprised that it went down easy and didn’t get caught in his throat. Toshiya gave him a knowing looking before reaching out and hugging him.   
“T-Minus 30 minutes before showtime” he said before stepping back. “I’m going to check on Kyo and then Karou then I’ll be back to help with your hair and makeup” he said before walking out of the door. Die watched him leave before turning back to his reflection, this time going all the way back to when they first met. 

‘I think back on the years we shared, All the times you stood by me, All the pain you wiped away   
All the things you ever said’ 

Die had just walked out of his old band, not being able to stand it anymore, they fought over things more than practiced anymore and he was done with it. He decided to stop by one of the local bars, needing a drink or ten. He didn’t know what he was going to do, he wanted to be in a band so bad, but if things continued as they were he wasn’t going to last much longer. He was three beers in when someone sat down beside him, he didn’t give them a look, that was until they spoke up.   
“That bad?” he asked and Die finally looked up and saw Karou sitting there. He had met him after one of the concerts he had performed with Karou’s band. He let out a laugh and downed the rest of his beer before ordering another.   
“What gave it away?” he asked, as the bartender brought him another.   
“Just a guess” he said, though his eyes went to the finished beers in front of the other.   
“I don’t know what to do, like...I want to perform, I want to be in a band, I want this to work, but...Yea” he said with a sigh as he took a big swig.   
“Leave, I’m sure you can find something better, your talents are wasted in that band” he said as he ordered a beer as well.   
“You’re just saying that” he said with a shrug.   
“I don’t just say things really” he said as he pulled out a pen and grabbed a napkin. He wrote his number and then an address on it and gave it to him. “Consider this your way out...Bring your guitar” he said as he finished the beer, paid for it and left with a clasp on Die’s shoulder. Die didn’t know what to think, he took the napkin and read it over a couple of times, a smile forming on his face as he finished his beer, paid for all of them and left.   
When it came time for him to show up at Karou’s he was nervous, he had his equipment with him and he was just standing outside of the door, seriously contemplating running away, that was until someone walked up beside him and stopped.   
“Are you just going to stand there or are you going to go in?” the other asked. Die jumped and looked around and saw Kyo. He had seen him around randomly, but never really talked to him, only admired him from afar.   
“Yea...Just...Nerves I guess” he said, looking back to the house. Kyo let out a laugh and pushed him forward.   
“On with it then, Karou hates it when people are late” he said as he started toward the door and Die followed with a small smirk. The rest was history really. Kyo and Die didn’t start off being close though, It had taken a while for them to actually be comfortable with each other, but when that happened all bets we off. 

Things were going too good, they had gotten a better bassist and changed their name and that was that La Sadies was now Dir En Grey and they were signed a couple years later. Everyone couldn’t have been happier, though that was when things started to go downhill. They had gotten famous, but they were young, they didn’t know what they were doing, they were just going with the motions but it seemed to be too much for Kyo mentally though it seemed that Kyo handled everything better than Die. Kyo showed his anguish during concerts with the cutting and hurting himself but Die kept his inside, not eating as much as he could, drinking more than one human body should be and putting his body through hell all with a smile on his face. It’s what he wanted, to be famous, or so he thought, he wanted good friends, people do be with him through anything, but even with everyone supporting each other he still couldn’t get out of his head.   
It took Kyo finding Die unconscious in a hotel bathroom, mostly skin and bones for things to get real. Die woke up in the hospital room a week later hooked up to a lot of machines and his whole body hurting. He looked around and saw Kyo sitting in the corner, asleep. He tried to remember what had happened but it was all a blur, he was too drunk to remember anything really leading up to that moment. 

‘I think back how you carried me, And you never once have doubted me, And you were my   
My hero through it all, I thank you for the moments of your life, And never giving up on me’ 

Die was so scared that he was out of the band, that everyone hated him for what he had done, but when Kyo finally woke up and looked at him before running up to him and hugging him he knew things were alright, or as alright as they could be considering.   
“Don’t scare me like that again” he said into Die’s shoulder which was slowly starting to become more damp. Die reached up slowly and put his hand on Kyo’s back.   
“I’ll try” was all Die said, hating that it took him to nearly dying to realize what he was doing was wrong, and that the comment from a fan that kicked everything off didn‘t mean anything. Kyo looked up then before reaching up and kissing Die gently. 

‘And you held me through it all, And you never let me fall, And you let me fly away, And you always believed’ 

It was a long road after that to recover. He had to start with small meals and slowly work his way up to how he used to eat, he also wasn’t allowed to drink, which was the hardest, it took him a couple weeks to finally get over the withdrawal symptoms of that, but the rest of the band was with him the whole time, especially Kyo, who never left his side. Kyo also took that time to think about how he was handling everything and slowly stopped the self-harming on stage. There were a couple relapses on both their ends, but they recovered quickly and soon the band was at full force again and better than ever. 

‘I think back how you overcame, All the times you could have slipped, The way you fought the winds of change, All the times your wings were clipped, You taught me how to reach the stars, You taught me how to heal my scars, And you were my, My hero through it all’ 

After everything it seemed that things were looking up, though there were times where they thought it was the end, or that they weren’t good enough anymore, but they pushed through that and came out better for it. They were now going on 20 years of being a band, which is saying a lot, especially with keeping the same line up and they all couldn’t be happier. Die looked around then when he heard Toshiya come back. He looked at the clock and saw that he had about 15 minutes before he had to be out there.   
“Alright! No more reminiscing, time to make you pretty” he said as he walked up to Die and started to run his hands through his hair a couple of times before starting to style it. Die let out a laugh and shook his head.   
“You know I can do this on my own right?” he asked and Toshiya batted his hand away.   
“You could, but you’re not supposed to today” he said as he started to curl Die’s hair before pinning a portion of it back and curling again. It was simple enough though Toshiya wanted a whole updo, but Die said otherwise. Next was makeup, which was pretty simple as well, just thick eyeliner with a splash of red eyeshadow. Die decided against his colored contacts and left his natural eye color showing instead. Once that was done Die stood up and buttoned his shirt and tied his tie before allowing Toshiya to help him into the waistcoat and jacket. Die looked himself over in the mirror and smiled, taking a deep breath to prepare himself. He looked behind him and saw Toshiya getting dressed as well, though he was in an all-black suit with a blue tie, all of them deciding to wear the colors that somehow got associated with them through the years.   
There was a knock on the door before Karou peeked his head in, taking in the two.   
“It’s time guys” he said and Die nodded before handing Toshiya a ring box, who in turn put it into his breast pocket. They both took a breath and followed Karou out. 

They had decided to go with having the ceremony in a park, they had set out chairs on each side of a cherry blossom tree, which was in full bloom and Die didn’t even want to think about how much antihistamines Kyo took to keep his allergies at bay. Die was fine with having it inside, but Kyo was insistent about it wanting to be outside. They had set up arches along the aisle with fairy lights around them. It was pretty simple really. Die took his spot just out of sight, though he was able to look around a tree and see Kyo standing up front with Shinya beside him. Kyo was wearing and all white suit as well but his colors were yellow while Shinya was wearing an all black suit a dark pink tie. When the music started, some symphonic version of one of their favorite songs Die took another breath and stepped out with Toshiya beside him. Kyo looked up then from messing with his hands. His eyes got wide, of course they’d seen each other dressed up on many occasions, but this was different and Kyo couldn’t help but gape at his future husband, Shinya had to reach around and close his mouth for him, but the smile never left Shinya’s face at the reaction. Die couldn’t help but laugh though he was sure his cheeks were as red as his hair used to be. When Die made it to the officiator Kyo reached out his hand and took Die’s and brought him closer. The officiator started the ceremony, each of them saying their vows.   
“You may now kiss each other” said the officiator and they did, causing everyone to erupt into applause. When they pulled back they smiled at each other, not having to say a word before they were led back down the aisle hand in hand. 

‘I thank you for the moments of your life, And never giving up on me, And you held me through it all, And you never let me fall, And you let me fly away, And you always believed in me’


End file.
